Wednesday Jokes

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A few jokes/riddles to get you through the rest of the week (or the rest of the day at this rate!)

Riddle: I drink the blood of the earth
and the trees fear my roar
yet a man may hold me in his hands

– Chainsaw

Q: How was it that the nosy roofer ended up doing such a bad job?
A: He couldn’t stop the eavesdropping
A construction worker dies in a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations!”

“Congratulations for what?” asks the construction worker.

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter. “We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.”

“But that’s not true,” says the construction worker. “I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter, “we added up your time sheets.”

Bumper Stickers:
Porta Potty: We go where you go ’cause you go where we are
Plumbing Truck: We’re #1 in the #2 business
High Finance: Try our new payment plan. 100% down and NO monthly payments
Septic Tank Pumper Truck: Don’t tailgate – or I’ll flush

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