Wednesday Jokes

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A few jokes to get you through your day:

How many LEED Accredited Professionals does it take to change a light bulb? 
Four—one to tell you how to earn LEED points by changing it, one to change it, one to document the change, and one to deliver the check to the U.S. Green Building Council for certifying the change.

How many lighting designers does it take to change a light bulb? 
Uh… “light bulb”? That’s a lamp, what you are calling a “socket” is a luminaire, and I think you’d get better efficacy if you changed the ballast instead.

Contractor – A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal

What made the column feel it had to conform?  Pier pressure.

Who do you put in charge of a 1:100 building? A scale ruler.

What does a cabinet manufacturer sing when he’s trying to solve a design problem?
Consider your shelf, my friend.
Why did the architect’s lack of money mean he couldn’t move a column?
Because he couldn’t budge it.
A carpenter was fixing the roof of a church, when he struck his thumb.

“Dammit, I missed!” cries the carpenter. The minister corrects him, saying, “You shouldn’t say such a thing in the church.”

The carpenter continues his work, and soon strikes his thumb again. “Dammit, I missed!” he yells. The minister again corrects the carpenter.” When the minister corrects him this time, the carpenter asks, “What’s going to happpen? A bolt of lightening going to strike me dead?” The minister says, “As a matter of fact, yes it will.”

Suddenly a bolt of lightening comes through the roof, and strikes the minister dead. A large booming voice is heard saying, “Dammit, I missed!”

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